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"Then she smiled and said, "Now drink this then go take a shower and thenwe can get dressed for the evening. If your family is away you can stayall weekend, and I might even expect you to stay next week so I can fuckyou lots!."I drank the drink (thinking it was juice) and then went into the bathroomto have a shower when she came in and said she wanted to wash me with afull body spray. She told me that it would clean me really well and whenI was naked she sprayed me with a cleaner. It tingled as it landed on me."Open your legs and let me clean your ass and balls" she said. I spreadmyself apart to make it easy. "Mmmmmmm your asspussy looks so tight, itwont be soon!."She covered my whole body with the spray and then told me to get in theshower to wash it off.I stepped in and immediately noticed that my body hair was falling out.My chest hair, leg hair, arm hair, pubic hair."What have you done to me?" Whoops, the wrong spray, sorry baby. But you do look sexy now."After a few minutes I was. I asked him what happened to the chip cutter“She got the sack as well!”Ran out of toilet paper and am now using lettuce.Today was the tip of the iceberg.I met a woman in a club last night who said she would show me a good time.We went outside and she ran a 40 meter dash in 4 seconds.So I’m rubbing away at this old lamp when WHOOOSH a genie appears as they do; true to form he says “What is your wish?”So after about 2 seconds thought I say “I’d like a new Ferrari please”“Sorry,” says the genie. “no can do - I’m the Lambourne genie”Captain Nemo’s submarine ‘Nautilus’ has finally been disarmed.It is now called the ‘Naughtyless’A Vicar was asked to dinner by one of his parishioners, who he knew was an unkempt housekeeper. When he sat down at the table, he noticed that the dishes were the dirtiest that he had ever seen in his life.“Were these dishes ever washed?” he asked his hostess, running his fingers over the grit and grime.She replied, “They’re as clean as soap and water could get.
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